Single, not-a-parent and non-monogamous. These are ideological value choices that I have believed in for years. In a sense they make it easier for me to deal with what the disabilities would make it difficult for me if I had chosen otherwise. If I wanted to get married it would be very difficult for me, if I wanted to have children, I might have had to give up on this dream. For years I thought my femininity was the cause of the trauma I went through, and I hid it. After it all came out (four years ago) I went through a long process of learning to love myself and accepting my femininity and sexuality. Today I am sexual, open and curious, but the mental pain that preceded and brought about this process, having to deal with physical and mental disabilities on a daily basis… its not worth it. This is one good thing that has happened. I wish I would have discovered my sexuality in a different way.